


Riptide

by My_Trex_has_fleas



Series: Land and Sea [13]
Category: Poldark - All Media Types, Return to Treasure Island (TV 1996)
Genre: Christmas, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Family Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 22:59:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5720173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Trex_has_fleas/pseuds/My_Trex_has_fleas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim gets to meet Ross’ family. Unfortunately Christmas at Nampara doesn't ever go smoothly.</p><p>Trigger warning for family issues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Riptide

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-post from 500K Prompts.

Ross was nervous, the sick tight feeling in his stomach making him nauseous to the point where he’d been unable to eat anything before getting in the car and starting the four hour car trip ahead of him. He knew that if Jim could see him like this, he’d get a lecture about looking after himself followed by French toast. God, he missed him. And he’ only been gone for six days.

Christmas in the Armed forces was not a given. And Jim had literally three days off, starting midday on Christmas Eve until midday the day after Boxing Day and then he had to be back for watch. Then it was a push through until the twentieth of January when the Dragon was heading to South America for a six months deployment to the Panama Canal.

Ross sighed a he wondered for the thousandth time why he was putting himself through this and not heading to Somerset instead to go spend Christmas with the man he loved and his erstwhile mother-in-law. He adored Rose, and when Jim had told him about their usual way to spend Christmas, which involved mostly lying around in their pyjamas and eating roast beef and roast potatoes while watching the inevitable rerun of Zulu and drinking beer (nothing with a cork Jim had informed him laughing), he’d been incredibly jealous. He hated Christmas, hated the long drive to get there, the pompous formality, the need to dress appropriately and, more than anything, the four days of constant disapproval he’d be subjected to.

He got onto the A35 and settled in to drive, playing back the conversation he’d had with his mother a week earlier.

‘But, darling we haven’t seen you in over a year.’ Liv had said, ‘It would be awfully selfish of you to drop everything to spend it with him.’ Ross had grimaced as she said that. She couldn’t even bring herself to say Jim’s name.

What made it worse was how she’d said it, like he’d been the one to make that decision, like he’d been the one who’d kept them away when he’d gotten back. It had taken all of his restraint not to point out that they had only checked in with him when they’d gotten back in early September. He certainly wouldn’t repeat to her the language Jim had used when he’d told him what she’d said (although he’d very wisely left out the fact that Liv referred to Jim as ‘him’).

He knew Jim was overly protective of him, growling like a compact golden pit bull whenever someone threatened to upset him, but this was his family and he’d reasoned with him, saying that he was fine and could handle anything they dished out. He hadn’t been too explicit about the relationship he had with his parents, as different an experience as an only child as one could get when compared with Jim’s childhood. Jim knew that they were distant and disapproving of the fact that Ross was gay. They knew about him and Jim, although he had been equally vague about the information that he gave them. He’d told them that he and Jim had been seeing each other for over a year, that he was in the Navy and that he was from Somerset. But that had pretty much been it.

He hadn’t told them how Jim had almost single-handedly saved him from himself, or how he was now tasked with keeping Ross together, his hands and mouth and body and heart the implements of healing that Ross worshipped above all other things. How that even the thought of being without him for these few days made him edgy and sharp. But he’d agreed. And while Jim had not been thrilled, he’d understood and assured Ross that they could spend New Year together.

The scenery sped past and Ross zoned out, letting the long miles wash over until the undulating downs leveled out and the fields gave way to moors as he hit Bodmin Moor. Then it was a short drive to the A390 where he turned off and then down towards the Roseland peninsula and the house he’d grown up in for most of the time, apart from when he was at boarding school.

He hadn’t really told Jim just how wealthy his family was, keeping it under wraps. He knew that Jim and Rose had been well provided for when Robert had died, but Jim had gone to an ordinary grammar school and then done his degree at Bath, nothing remarkable about him at all. And while he’d spent his weekends working in his mother’s pub or training with his swimming club, Ross had played polo and been shuttled from society event to society event by his upwardly mobile parents, all eyeing any number of pretty long-legged girls with minor titles with the intention of marrying him off to someone that could take them to the next level.

Ironically it was the only thing they liked about the fact that he’d gone into the Army. The fact that he’d been rubbing elbows with minor royals had excited them enormously, and they were quite happy to wave his status as an officer around when they were entertaining while berating him for choosing so poorly in the career department in private. It was enough to make you pull your hair out. And when they’d met Holmewood it had been almost embarrassing.

Ross got to the end of the A390 and turned off onto the A road that would take him down towards St Just. His parent’s house was just on the outskirts set in twenty acres of land and gardens. The light was fading quickly and he wanted to get in and settled before it was really dark.

The house itself was set at the end of a long drive, and Ross could just make out the lights from the mullioned windows as he drove up the driveway, parking outside and noting that there was another car parked there that he didn’t recognise.

He got out, grabbing his bag from the back seat and going to the front door. He rang the doorbell, not actually possessing a key. There was the sound of footsteps and then his father opened the door. Jonathan Poldark was tall and leanly built, like his son. Ross had also inherited his father’s dark good looks, although his hazel eyes were lighter than Jon’s brown ones, so dark they almost veered to black. They gave his face a hawk-like look.

‘Ross.’ he said, extending his hand formally and Ross took it, shaking formally as he’d been taught to do.

‘Dad.’ Ross answered, their dance around each other as stiff and exact as always. He had no idea what his father felt about him at the best of times. Jon stepped aside and he came in, stopping to shed his thick coat and hand it up at the front door.

‘You can leave your bag. Heather will take it up for you. Your mother has put you in your old room.’ Ross would have smiled at the words his father said every single time he came t visit, if they hadn’t been indicative of the distance between them.

The house dated from the seventeenth century, and the front hall was vast, the polished floorboards echoing as he followed his father to the drawing room. The wood panelled walls shone in the firelight, and Ross saw his mother engaged in conversation with someone he didn’t recognise at first. But then she turned and Ross’ stomach lurched as he saw who it was.

‘Darling.’ his mother said, her beautiful face creased in a light frown. ‘You’re late.’

‘I’m sorry.’ he said, responding automatically, still thrown by the situation he now found himself in.

‘Next time you should leave earlier.’ Liv said. Then she smiled, and he saw a trace of smugness in it. ‘Well, aren’t you going to say hello to our guest?’

‘Of course.’ he replied and turned to the young woman sitting in the chair opposite his mother. ‘Hello, Elizabeth.’ She smiled at him.

‘Hello Ross.’ she replied.

Dinner was torture as he’d expected. Heather, their housekeeper was dressed up in that ridiculous outfit his mother made her wear to serve, and they were all scattered around the enormous dining table that could seat twenty people.

‘So, darling, tell us about what you’ve been up to.’ Liv was cutting her salmon into tiny pieces, spearing them one at a time to each them. Ross reached for his wine glass and drank before answering.

‘I’m training down at Lulworth.’ he said. It was a subject he’d been dreading.

‘But surely you’ve been passed as medically fit.’ Jon said, frowning at him.

‘It’s not just about being medically fit.’ Ross replied. ‘I still have to pass my six month psych evaluation.’

‘But surely they can’t think there’s anything wrong with you?’ Elizabeth said.

‘Of course not.’ Liv interjected. ‘That would be absurd. There’s nothing wrong with you.’

‘Actually a lot of soldiers come back with PTSD.’ Ross said, hoping against hope to open a line of debate that might actually be positive.

‘That’s only the enlisted men, not the officers.’ Liv said. ‘And that stands to reason that their education levels would be lower so they are easily influenced. You’re an officer, darling. You’re of a different class altogether.’ She pushed aside her plate, dinner hardly touched. ‘Now lets go have coffee in the drawing room and Elizabeth can tell you everything she’s been up to.’

Ross finally managed to escape up to his room by begging off on account of the long drive, although his mother’s face told him he’d be paying for that in cutting remarks later. He got inside, shutting the door behind him, thankful to finally be alone.

He took out his phone and checked. There were no missed calls or messages and he debated as to whether to call Jim or not. It was a little after ten, and he knew Jim had morning watch which meant he had to be up at four in the morning, and was no doubt asleep. Even so, the horrible edge to his thoughts were enough to seriously consider calling him. In the end he settled for a quick text. Then he got undressed and went to shower. He came back out and pulled on his sweats he used to sleep in when he needed to be dressed, added a t-shirt and got into bed. He took his phone with him, hoping against hope that Jim would call, but he didn’t. Ross finally dropped of sometime around one and his dreams were unsettling.

His phone woke him, and Ross started awake. He fumbled for the phone, connecting the call and answering it without having to see who it was. No-one else would be calling him at three-forty five in the morning.

‘Jim.’ he said, and there was a beat of silence.

‘You were sleeping.’ It wasn’t a question.

‘It’s fine.’ Ross said. ‘I’m glad you called.’ He sat up, scratching his head and yawning. ‘You going on watch?’

‘In fifteen minutes.’ Jim said. There was another beat of silence. ‘Ross, what’s wrong?’

‘Nothing.’ Ross said, taken by surprise. ‘I’m fine.’

‘You don’t sound fine.’ Jim said. ‘You sound tense.’

‘It’s nothing. Family shit.’ Ross said, trying to sound more cheerful than he felt. He hoped he was being convincing enough for Jim to drop it.

‘Shit.’ Jim was moving around and Ross could hear the clatter of things in the background. ‘I have to go. I’ll call you when I get off watch.’

‘I can’t.’ Ross said, rubbing his eyes. ‘I’ll be at church.’ There was silence on the other side.

‘Church?’ Jim finally said.

‘Yeah, it’s a family thing.’ Ross said. ‘I’ll call you when I’m done.’

‘All right.’ Jim said. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ Ross replied, and Jim disconnected the call. He fell back on the pillow, staring at his phone, the background a picture of him and Jim at the last barbeque for the Tedworth support group he’d joined on Demelza’s urging. It was the two of them sitting next to each other on a low wall. He was laughing at the camera because Demelza had made an off colour remark about him and Jim looking so serious they looked like the couple in that weird American Gothic painting. Jim had his arms still folded but his head was tilted down because he was laughing so hard and trying to keep a straight face. Ross wished for a moment that it was up so he could see his eyes.

He flicked his thumb across the screen to his gallery, then ran through the photos on there. Jim wasn’t really one for photos, always moving around too quickly to be captured. But there were a few really nice shots of him, reading or sitting at the breakfast table. Ross’ favourite one was taken when they had gone down to Kimmeridge Bay on one of their regular morning trips so Jim could go swimming. He swam in the base pool, but he loved swimming in the ocean best and went every morning if he could. Ross had grown to love sitting on the pebbled beach, watching him swim out until he almost disappeared and them coming back. Jim was a powerful swimmer and Ross would time him. That morning he’d come out of the surf and the sun had hit him just right, turning him from a man into a mythical golden creature, a siren from the depths coming to steal Ross away and drag him to a watery doom with him. Ross had the suspicion that he would have gone gladly if it meant he could be with Jim forever. He’d taken the picture as Jim got him, dripping water and hair spiked up. Ross started at it for what seemed like forever until his eyes grew heavy and he finally dropped off again.

**********

The next morning Ross woke up feeling scratchy throated and out of sorts. But he dutifully dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom, showered and dressed in the neatly pressed clothes in his wardrobe that he only ever wore when he was home. He was pulling on a jumper when there was a knock at the door. It opened before he could call out though. It was Liv, her dark hair immaculate and her face perfectly made up.

‘We’re ready to go darling. And when we’re done your father and I thought we could all go have lunch in St Mawes. You and Elizabeth have a lot to catch, and there's a lovely new seafood restaurant down on the harbour wall.’ She came in giving him a critical look. ‘Maybe a different jumper, darling.’

Her tone rubbed Ross up the wrong way and he walked past her, closing the door and turning to her.

‘Why is she here?’ he asked and Liv blinked and looked surprised as of it had never occurred to her that he would ask.

‘I should think that’s obvious, Ross.’ she said. ‘You’re almost thirty you know. If you’re planning on settling down it should be sooner rather than later. Elizabeth’s young, she has a well-established career but it’s nothing so important that she couldn’t put it aside when you have children. And she still has feelings for you. I think it’s ideal. And what’s more she’s apparently not the slightest bit put off by that.’ Here she gestured vaguely at the scar on his face. ‘Although God knows why.’

‘How can you even think that would be possible?’ Ross was aghast. ‘I don’t know if you have been paying attention at all to what I have told you but I am already with someone.’

‘That,’ Liv said, the corners of her mouth turning down, ‘is hardly a proper relationship.’

‘How on Earth can you say that?’ Ross asked, disbelief colouring his voice. ‘Jim and I have been together for over a year. He’s my bloody emergency contact for Christ’s sake. I have sex with him on a regular basis.’

‘I really don’t need to know the sordid details of this fling you’re having with that man, Ross.’ she snapped. ‘It’s broken your father’s heart, I’ll have you know. The sooner you get over this ridiculous phase and settle down, the better. Now we are leaving in ten minutes.’ Not waiting for an answer, she turned and left the room. Ross watched her go, too stunned to react. He’d suspected something was up when he’d seen Elizabeth in the drawing room the previous evening, but hadn’t realised just how far his mother was willing to push it.

When he got downstairs they were all assembled and a wave of panic washed over him. It was red and it’s sharp claws plucked at his mind and he suddenly wanted nothing more that Jim’s solid comforting presence next to him, hand holding his and shoulders brushing.

‘Finally.’ his mother said, and her voice had an icy edge.

*********

Jim came off watch and checked his phone when he got back to his cabin. There was no call, not that he’d been expecting one. But he couldn’t shake the little nagging feeling at the back of his head that Ross wasn’t doing very well. He’d sounded stretched and worried the night before. He lay down on his bunk and dialled Rose.

‘Hello chicken.’ she said, sounding ridiculously happy for a woman in the middle of season. ‘Everything okay?’

‘Fine.’ he said. ‘I’m leaving at about twelve tomorrow and I should get to you around three if the traffic doesn’t fuck me up.’

‘With any luck.’ she said and there was a clash followed by swearing. Rose sighed. ‘Although there may be no pub to come home to if Jeffrey has his way.’ There was a deep throated laugh in the background and Jim smiled. Jeffrey had been Rose’s head chef since she opened the place and he was like an uncle to Jim. ‘Now he’s making obscene gestures at me. You coming on the bike?’

‘Yeah, it’ll be easier.’ Jim said. ‘And your present isn’t that big so I should manage.’

‘Well that’s either very good or very bad.’ she laughed. ‘Just make sure you get here in one piece. That’s all I want. Are you going to see Ross?’

‘No, he’s with his family until the twenty-seventh and then I’m back on watch.’ Jim said. He sighed and stretched out on his bunk, sleep catching up to him. ‘But I’m seeing him at New Year. I can give him his present then.’

‘It arrived then?’ Rose asked and Jim smiled.

‘Yeah, yesterday. It’s sitting on top of my wardrobe.’ He looked up at the package. ‘Right, I’m shattered. I’ll call you later.’

‘All right my love.’ Rose said. ‘I’ll chat to you later.’ Jim hung up and let his head fall back, arm over his eyes. He was out in minutes and didn’t wake when his phone vibrated an hour later.

************

Ross frowned as Jim’s voicemail came on.

‘It’s me.’ he said. ‘Just checking in. Call me when you get this.’ He sighed and put his phone in his pocket. He was standing in front of a very overpriced jewellery shop in St Mawes while his mother and Elizabeth were inside. They were giggling and throwing him conspiratorial looks and Ross knew he’d have to say something sooner or later. It was verging on ridiculous. His father of course was doing what he did best and pleading work. He’d had a call during the service, much to his mother’s disgust and then straight after had declared he needed to be somewhere and had dropped the three of them in town.

Ross finally decided that he needed a break after they dragged him towards yet another boutique. While they went inside he cast a look down towards to the harbour. He got there, and leaned back against the wall of a small row of shops. He desperately wanted a cigarette, but he and Jim had decided to give up together after their mutual relapse, so his pockets were empty. He heaved a sigh and watched as a pair of seagulls squabbled over a discarded chip. Then he pushed off the wall and took a slow meander towards the harbour wall. The third shop along was tiny, but the windows were filled with various militaria and it caught his eye. He was looking at several swords that he could see were from the Eighteenth century when something caught his eye. He went inside, the bell at the door tinkling. There was an older man behind the counter and he gave Ross a friendly smile.

Ross pointed out the item he was interested in and the man retrieved it from the display case in the window and handed it to him.

‘It’s an exceptionally fine example.’ he said to Ross who handled the object, noting the heaviness. He opened the case and looked at the compass inside. ‘The casing is solid silver as is the chain, which is original to the compass, and the dial is mother of pearl, a most unusual material for the period. It’s also un-engraved which makes it an ideal gift.’ He gave Ross a look. ‘Perhaps someone special?’

‘Very special.’ Ross said. ‘If I wanted it engraved?’

‘You could pick it up in an hour.’ the man said.

‘Perfect.’ Ross said and took out his wallet.

He was in a considerably better mood when he went back to find his mother and Elizabeth and escort them to lunch. Then, afterwards while they were chatting and looking at yet more shops he ran back down to the shop and got Jim’s present.

They caught a taxi back to the house and Ross zoned out until they got there, the compass a heavy weight in his pocket. When they went inside they found Heather talking to a grey-haired woman, tall and ramrod straight in spite of her age. Her handsome face was the spitting image of Ross’ father and indeed himself. He smiled broadly when he saw her and walked into her open arms for a hug that had a surprising amount of strength in it.

‘Ross, my boy.’ she boomed. ‘You look remarkably well for someone who got blown up.’

‘Thank you, Maggie.’ Ross said, ignoring his mother’s annoyed face. She hated him calling his great aunt by her first name, but Maggie insisted on it. She ran a speculative finger along the scar on his face.

‘I like it.’ She declared. ‘It makes you look distinguished and a little dangerous. Always a good combination.’

‘Oh, don’t encourage him, Maggie.’ Liv said. ‘And you’ll spoil his surprise.’

‘What surprise?’ Ross asked, suspicious.

‘Your father and I were going to offer to pay to have that fixed for you.’ Liv said. ‘It’s very disfiguring and you had such a handsome face.’

‘It’s still a handsome face, Olivia.’ Maggie said, her voice stony. ‘And there’s absolutely no need for it to be fixed.’ She took Ross’ arm. ‘Now escort an old lady into the drawing room and tell me what you’ve been up to.’

**********

Dinner was less tortured. Maggie pretty much monopolised him, but Ross was torn as he realised that his mother’s face was getting stormier and stormier and that Elizabeth was looking more and more dejected. So he made an effort, talking to her and discussing her job as a window dresser for Selfridges.

‘It’s awfully challenging.’ she said, and Ross put on his polite face and stared at the woman who’d been his first love and realised there was no chemistry between them at all and that there probably had never been. But it had been a good eight years since he’d seen her last when she’d unceremoniously dumped him and he’d gone off to the army and fallen head over heels for the first man to give him the time of day.

He noticed that Liv was looking a lot happier so he smiled and nodded in all the right places and even flirted a little and soon Elizabeth was smiling brightly at him. But after dinner, Maggie cornered him.

‘You shouldn’t let her do that to you.’ she said and he sighed.

‘I know.’ he said. ‘But it’s not Elizabeth’s fault that she got dragged into this. Besides, I doubt she is reading too much into a five day visit.

Ross was very wrong on that front.

It was only much later, when they had all gone to bed that he realised how much. He was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and humming to himself, picturing just what Jim’s face would look like when he gave him his Christmas present. Then he heard a soft noise, but he paid it no attention. Done, he spat and rinsed and then dried his face off with the hand towel and walked back into his room.

Elizabeth was lying on his bed. And she wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing.

‘Fuck.’ Ross said on instinct and dropped the glass of water he was holding. It hit the carpet and thankfully bounced. Elizabeth saw his horrified expression and her own face was clouded with confusion.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked. ‘I don’t understand.’

‘Um…’ Ross looked around frantically for something to give her to cover herself, grabbing his discarded t-shirt and waving it at her until she took it and put it on. He kept his eyes averted until she was covered. ‘Just what did my mother tell you?’

‘She said that you were desperate to see me, that you’d missed me and wanted to try again.’ Elizabeth said, her face a picture of embarrassment. ‘She told me that you’d lost your confidence after getting injured and that I’d probably have to make the first move so that’s what I’m doing. And at dinner you seemed very interested all of a sudden so I thought you’d gotten over it. Ross?’ She frowned at him. ‘What’s going on?’

‘She may have left out one very pertinent fact.’ Ross said. ‘I’m in a relationship with someone. I have been for a year and a half now.’

‘Oh God.’ Elizabeth’s face fell. ‘Oh no.’

‘It’s quite all right.’ Ross said, trying not to make her feel any worse. ‘You weren’t to know. And at dinner I was just being nice.’

‘Oh my God.’ Elizabeth repeated. ‘I am so sorry.’

‘No need to apologise.’ Ross said. ‘I am awfully flattered.’ That was the wrong thing to say.

‘So you bloody should be.’ Elizabeth retorted. ‘I’m a bloody catch thank you very much. I bet your girlfriend is some grenade launching thingy holding superwoman is she?’

‘Not exactly.’ Ross admitted. He went to his bedside table and picked up his phone, going to his gallery and bringing up a picture of Jim. Then he handed it to her. Elizabeth started at it, then looked at him.

‘Is this…’ she let the question hang.

‘It is.’ Ross said.

‘So not so much a girlfriend…’ she asked.

‘As a boyfriend? No.’ Ross said. Elizabeth sat down on the bed.

‘Well that explains a few things.’ she said. ‘I always thought there was something off with us.’

‘Oh, thank God.’ Ross said, feeling utterly relieved. ‘I thought it was always just me.’

‘No.’ she said, and now she was smiling a little. ‘It was only after I went to uni and slept with someone else that I realised how awful sex with you actually was. No offense.’

‘None taken, and the same thing happened with me when I went to the army.’ Ross said. ‘But as you can imagine they are not very happy about it.’ He didn’t need to explain who they were. Elizabeth’s face clouded over.

‘Hang on a minute.’ She said. ‘Do your parents know about…’ she looked at the phone.

‘Jim.’ Ross finished for her. ‘Yes they do, although they have never actually met him.’ He came to sit down next to her.

‘He’s hot.’ she said. ‘Why is it always the hot ones?’ Ross laughed and she laughed with him.

‘I am sorry you got dragged into my parents’ gay intervention.’ he said and Elizabeth put her hand on his arm.

‘It’s fine. I can’t say I’m not sorry because I am, but honestly everything now makes sense. I just can’t believe they pulled this.’ she said. ‘Although you’ll understand if I don’t want to hang around for the next four days. That would be beyond awkward.’

‘Absolutely.’ Ross said.

***********

Elizabeth left the next morning. Predictably Liv was furious.

‘You are a selfish bloody idiot.’ she shouted at Ross over breakfast. ‘How could you? You do realise that she was your best chance of finding someone, especially with the way you look now.’ Ross sat and took the vitriol until he felt like his head was going to explode. Then he started shouting back and the two of them took each other to pieces with words and anger until he got up from the table and went outside.

He took out his phone and dialled Jim. There was no answer and then the inevitable voicemail. Ross bit his lip and then did the next best thing. This time the phone was answered.

‘Hi Rose.’ Ross said. He didn’t even try to hide how upset he was.

‘Oh, petal.’ Her soothing voice was like balm on his shattered nerves. ‘What can I do?’

‘Just ask him to call me when he gets there, please.’ Ross all but whispered. ‘I need him.’

‘Consider it done.’ Rose said.

‘Thank you.’ he said then said goodbye and hung up. He stood breathing in the cold air until his lungs burned and his face was starting to go numb. Then he turned and went back inside.

***********

Rose didn’t waste any time. She dialled a number and waited for the answer then gave an extension.

‘Good morning.’ She said pleasantly. ‘This is Rose Hawkins. Could I please go through to Captain Sellar’s direct number.’ She waited for an answer. ‘Hello, Mark. No I’m fine, how are you? Good. Are you and Collette still coming to see me on the ninth? Wonderful. Yes, it has been a while. Now look, I know Jim’s on watch and I can’t call him there, but could you possibly do me a huge favour and tell him he needs to go to Cornwall this afternoon. Yes, it is. Tell him not to worry about me, he just needs to get there. Thank you so very much. Of course, we’ll chat on Christmas. Bye bye, love.’ She hung up and went back out into the pub, shaking her head to herself.

************

Ross spent the rest of the afternoon hiding. He went around the gardens, retracing pathways and rediscovering hiding places he remembered from his childhood. He was dreading the evening, various aunts and uncles and cousins descending on the manor fir the traditional Christmas eve party his parents threw every year. The worst part was that he hadn’t been able to get hold of Jim all afternoon, and while he wasn’t prone to worry he had expected Jim to have arrived at his mother’s by now.

He was walking back up from the lower part of the gardens, the damp grass muddying the hem of his chinos and his hands sunk deep in the pockets of his pea coat, when he saw something moving up the drive just ahead of him. Ross frowned and tried to catch sight of it as it moved, and a flash of chrome caught his eye. His heart gave a little jump and he started walking quickly in the direction of the house. When he got to the front area of the house he saw a black bike next to his Land Rover and when he got closer he saw a compact figure in jeans and black leather biking jacket at the front door, the distinctive white stripes across the arms and chest so very familiar.

Ross stopped and watched as the door opened and then the figure went inside. Spurred into action by this, Ross broke into a run and got to the front door few minutes later, gasping for air, still not as fit as he had been. The front door was open and he went in to find his mother and Heather and Jim all standing in the front hall, looking like they were in the middle of a confrontation. All three turned to look at him. Ross couldn’t speak, trying to catch his breath. Fortunately Jim had no such problems. He gave Ross a brilliant dimpled smile.

‘Hey, gorgeous.’ he said, and Ross immediately knew he had stumbled onto something that didn’t just look like a conflict. Jim didn't use pet names unless he was making a statement or a claim. ‘I was just trying to explain to these lovely ladies who I am.’ There was a little bite to the word ladies and Ross immediately scrutinised Jim for signs. And they were there in abundance, from the too bright smile to the tightening around Jim’s blue-green eyes which had darkened to an almost stormy blue. There was no doubt about it, Jim was severely pissed off.

Nothing for it then.

‘Mother. Heather.’ he said. ‘This is Lieutenant James Hawkins of Her Majesty’s Navy. He’s also my boyfriend.’

*********

Liv wasn’t taking it lying down. She dispatched Heather to show Jim ‘to the GUEST room, please.’ and then practically dragged Ross into the kitchen.

‘What is he doing here?’ she demanded.

‘Your guess is as good as mine.’ Ross replied. It was the truth. Liv’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

‘Your father is going to be furious.’ she hissed.

‘My father is not even here, in case you hadn’t noticed.’ Ross hissed back. ‘In the two days I’ve been here, he’s managed to be absent for both of them. I very much doubt he’ll even realise that Jim is here.’

Liv looked appalled at what he’d just said.

‘It’s not your father’s fault that he has to work so hard.’ She said. ‘If you’d shown one iota of interest in the business instead of running off the bloody army…’

‘Oh Jesus, here we fucking go.’ Ross said and she went white with anger. ‘It always comes back to this, your bloody need to control every aspect of my life. I went to the school you wanted me to go to. I went to the university you wanted me to go to. You practically threw Elizabeth at me and I went out with her to please you, and then when she dumped me you told me it was my bloody fault.’

‘And then you acted like an idiot and ran off and enlisted without consulting either of us.’ Liv’s voice could have cut stone. ‘And now you’re doing it again.’

‘No, actually I’m not.’ Ross said. ‘You want to make this about you, but it’s really not. I have always been like this. I denied it for a very long time and it messed me up in a lot of ways, but I am happy with who I am now and I’m happy with Jim. You just have to accept that.’

‘I will do no such thing, and when it blows up in your face and you are left old and alone with no-one to care for you because you haven’t had the foresight to have children, then you will realise that I’m right.’ Liv said, her voice raised and edging towards slightly hysterical.

‘I don’t need children.’ Ross shouted and she shrank back as if he’d hit her. ‘Maggie has never married and has no children and she’s the last person you’d describe as lonely or incapable. What you’re really trying to say is that you want grandchildren and me being gay is never going to give you that.’

‘You are not…’ Liv couldn’t even bring herself to say the word. ‘You’re confused.’

‘Then I’ve been confused a very long time.’ Ross said. ‘Christ, Mum. Why is this so hard for you to understand? I can get that you’re never going to accept it, but at least understand what I am saying to you.’

‘No.’ Ross was sure that if she could Liv would have put her fingers in her ears to drown him out. ‘And under no circumstances are you going to say anything tonight. He can stay and join us, but there will be no mention of any of this. We’ll just say that he is a friend of yours.’

‘A friend?’ Ross was on the verge of laughing at the surreal nature of the conversation he was having. ‘Sure, why not? He’s a friend. A friend who also happens to be the man I’m in love with and have sex with and, God willing, the man I’m going to hopefully marry one day if he doesn’t get so bloody put off by the fact that my family are a massive bunch of homophobes.’

Liv gasped, and her hand came out as quick as cat’s paw and hit him across the face. It wasn’t a hard blow and his head barely moved from it, but it took him by surprise. He looked back at her and he could see the shock in her face. But she quickly recovered and her expression fell back into the immaculate mask she always wore.

‘You will never say those words in this house again.’ she said. ‘Ever.’ And then she gathered herself and stalked out the kitchen, leaving Ross with a stinging cheek and the sudden urge to beat his head against the wall.

He went upstairs and along the passageway until he found Jim. Heather had put him in the bedroom furthest from his, he noted with a sardonic smile. It was in stark contrast to the fact that Elizabeth had been put next door.

Jim was at the bed unpacking the small tog bag he usually brought on weekend trips to Ross. He leaned in the doorway and watched him. Jim looked up once, and snorted.

‘So much for welcomes.’ he said. Your mother is quite something. I think if she could have physically picked me up and thrown me out the front door, she would have.’

‘You’re staying.’ Ross said. ‘It’s something.’

‘Yeah, it’s something.’ Jim straightened up, blue-green eyes flashing angrily. ‘And let me guess, we have to pull the ‘we’re just good friends’ routine tonight, right?

‘It’s just for tonight. It’ll make things easier.’ Ross said unhappily.

‘It’ll make things a lie.’ Jim said sharply. He stopped what he was doing, hands on hips and head down. ‘I’ve been here before, Ross. It’s not a place I like.’

‘I know.’ Ross said. He stayed at the door, not wanting to go in but also desperate to go over to Jim, kiss him and hold him and have him tell him everything was going to be all right. It must have showed on his face because Jim sighed, then came around the bed to him. He pulled Ross inside the room and closed the door then he reached up, hand on Ross’ face. He leaned up, kissing Ross on the mouth.

‘Fuck it, I can play straight for one night.’ he said when he moved away. ‘Anything for you.’

‘I appreciate it.’ Ross said. He rested his forehead against Jim’s. ‘I know it’s awful, but my family are pretty much stuck in the stone-age. Be thankful you weren’t here yesterday.’

‘Why, what happened?’ Jim pulled back from him, a frown on his face, and Ross kicked himself mentally for saying anything.

‘They invited Elizabeth.’ he said and Jim’s eyebrows went up.

‘Excuse me?’ he asked. ‘It sounded like you just told me your parents invited your ex-girlfriend for Christmas.’

‘They did.’ Ross said. ‘It was kind of an intervention.’ He tried to keep his voice light, make a joke of it. ‘They told her I wanted to get back together with her and I walked out of my bathroom last night to find her naked on my bed.’ He chanced a look at Jim’s face and realised that he was furious. ‘It’s fine, I explained the situation and we had a laugh about it. She said she always knew something was off with us.’ He could hear the panicky note in his own voice, as Jim went back around the bed and started unpacking with a vengeance. ‘It’s not like it would have worked.’

‘That’s not the point.’ Jim said, his voice quiet and short. ‘It’s the thought that they effectively tried to break us up and you’re taking it like it’s no big deal.’

‘I’m not.’ Ross protested. ‘And they could never break us up. Jesus, I’m not some teenager who’s going to drop you just because my parents tell me to.’

‘No, you’re a grown man who’s just asked his boyfriend to play straight so his family doesn’t find out he likes it up the arse.’ Jim snapped. ‘Sorry, if I’m not really seeing the fucking distinction right now.’ He refused to look at Ross, and Ross could see that he wasn’t going to get anywhere until Jim had calmed down.

‘I’m sorry.’ he said, and went to the door.

‘I know, Ross.’ Jim said, still not looking at him. Ross waited for a moment, wanting to say anything he could to fix what had just happened. But he couldn’t find the words and so he left Jim to it.

**********

The family started to arrive at six, and Ross was downstairs on time, dressed neatly in the regulation Poldark uniform – pressed chinos, button down and v-neck jumper. His dark hair was tamed into submission and he had both hands shoved in his pockets as he came into the drawing room. Jon was already there, sitting in his armchair with his legs crossed and a crystal tumbler at his elbow. He was dressed exactly the same way as Ross, except his jumper was forest green and not navy blue. He looked up and raised an eyebrow at Ross as he came in.

‘You had your mother in a right tizz today.’ he said.

‘Well, if my mother didn’t treat my partner like a leper, then we wouldn’t have a problem.’ Ross replied.

‘You know her feelings on the subject.’ Jon said.

‘And your feelings?’ Ross asked. His father shrugged.

‘Who you spend with your time with has never been any particular concern of mine, Ross.’ he said. ‘But I would ask you to respect your mother’s wishes and not cause any undue turbulence while you are here.’

‘I’m starting to think it would have been a better idea not to come at all.’ Ross said.

‘Maybe, it would have.’ Jon said. ‘Especially seeing as you decided to spring your partner on us without so much as consulting us beforehand.’

‘You mean like Mum inviting Elizabeth here in a desperate attempt to un-gay me?’ Ross bridled, and his father’s eyes glittered dangerously.

‘I’d watch my tone if I were you.’ he said. ‘This is still our house and if she wishes for you to behave a certain way while you are here, then you will abide by that.’

Ross opened his mouth to protest and was interrupted by Maggie coming in, moving like a ship in sail. He wondered just how much of the conversation she had heard.

‘So, I hear we have an unexpected visitor.’ she said, and Ross noticed that her eyes were twinkling. ‘Oliva’s nose is right out of joint.’

‘Well, you can thank Ross for that.’ Jon said. ‘He has apparently decided it’s a good idea to poke the hornet’s nest.’ Maggie turned to Ross.

‘Your mother says he’s a good friend of yours.’ She gave him a smile that told him she wasn’t fooled in the slightest. ‘That’s what they used to call it in my day. I would have thought times had moved on.’

‘Apparently not in this house.’ Ross said, glowering at his father, who studiously ignored him. ‘He’s more than just a good friend, Maggie, but I’m not allowed to mention that.’

‘Oh, bollocks.’ she snorted, and then turned to Jon. ‘You aren’t seriously telling Ross that he can’t tell people that the charming young man upstairs is attached to him. I bloody would.’

‘You’ve met him then?’ Ross couldn’t supress a smile.

‘I made a point of it. He is quite a catch, I must say. But then I always did have an eye for a sailor.’ She winked at him, and Ross instantly felt better.

‘A sailor?’ Jon asked.

‘Yes, he’s in the Royal Navy.’ Ross said. ‘But you probably don't remember that part. Or the fact that he’s incredibly clever and funny and amazing.’

‘Oh God.’ Jon said. ‘You sound like a teenage girl.’

‘Oh shut up, Jonathan.’ Maggie said. ‘You may think this family is a bunch of troglodytes, but I assure you no one is going to be in the least bit offended by the fact that your son invited his boyfriend for Christmas.’

‘I didn’t technically invite him, he kind of showed up.’ Ross said.

‘Well, he wouldn’t have had to if your parents had had the civility to invite him themselves.’ Maggie said and his father studied the ceiling. He knew better than to take on his aunt. ‘Oh, speak of the devil…’

‘And he shall appear.’ Jim finished the words for her as he came into the drawing room. He was in jeans and a red plaid shirt over his habitual white t-shirt, the sleeves rolled up to the elbow to show his tanned forearms and the chunky steel divers watch he wore on his left wrist along with two rope bracelets, that Preston and Halford had given him years ago when they were naval cadets together. Ross caught his breath. It was the one look of Jim’s he was truly powerless to resist, and Jim knew it. He would have only dressed like this if he wanted to get Ross going. ‘Are you calling me the Devil, Maggie?’

‘If the shoe fits, my dear.’ Maggie said. ‘I take it you’ve yet to meet Ross’ father. Jonathan, this is Jim Hawkins. He’s the man you son is seeing.’ She glared at Jon until he got up and walked over, hand extended. Ross watched as Jim took it, and then did an internal whoop when he saw his father wince minutely at the crushing grip. Jim had a handshake like a vice.

‘A pleasure, sir.’ he said, and Ross marvelled at how he was able to make it sound almost like an insult. Jim had a very subtle brand of insubordination which Ross had seen first-hand on the now infamous Warleggan occasion.

‘Likewise.’ His father said, clearly not wanting to lose face. He took his hand back and then tugged down the bottom of your jumper. ‘I think I’ll check on your mother.’ he said to Ross. ‘Please, excuse me.’ He left the drawing room. Maggie was smiling broadly. She patted the sofa next to her and Jim obediently went to sit.

‘Jon doesn’t know quite what to make of you.’ she said to him. ‘I don’t know what he was expecting, but you clearly are not it.’

‘I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.’ Jim said looking directly at Ross.

‘Trust me.’ Ross replied. ‘It’s a bloody good thing.’

***********

Dinner was interesting. Jim had been somewhat surprised to find that most of the Poldark clan were women. Not only that but they were strong willed, bossy chatty women who descended on him and dragged him into conversation. They were worse thanks Ross’ squad.

He was now at the table stuck between Maggie and a cousin of Ross’ called Verity, who was a round faced young woman with brown hair and extremely intelligent dark eyes. All the Poldarks were dark eyed and it was like being in a flock of sparrows.

‘So what exactly do you do?’ she asked him. The rest of the table seemed to stop mid conversation to listen.

‘Would it be too simplistic to say I blow things up?’ Jim asked, smiling at her. He had decided he liked Verity a lot.

‘Yes.’ she said. ‘I get that part but what does it entail?’

‘Basically if the Dragon is under attack then I would co-ordinate our air defence system. That means I decide when and how to launch the PAAMS.’

‘So you’re really in charge then?’ Verity asked. ‘Of the weapons system?’

‘Yeah, that’s pretty much it.’ Jim said.

‘It sounds very exciting.’ Maggie said. ‘When I was a WAVE we weren’t let anywhere near the guns.’

‘It’s very different now.’ Jim said to her. ‘One of my best friends is a Weapons Engineer, and no-one would dream of questioning her knowledge.’

‘What would happen if they did?’ Verity asked.

‘Billie would probably kick them in the balls.’ Jim said amiably. Ross, who’d been listening intently to the exchange, choked on his wine at the word ‘balls’. ‘She’s done it before.’ He threw Ross a gorgeous devil-may-care-smile across the table, dimples on full power. Ross cleared his throat and glared back at him.

‘She sounds like my kind of girl.’ Verity said. ‘I’d like to meet her.’

‘Maybe Ross can bring you down to Portsmouth.’ Jim said. ‘We deploy on the twentieth but you could come before then and get a tour of the Dragon.’

‘Could I really?’ Verity asked, ‘Would that really be possible.’

‘Of course it would.’ Jim said. ‘Your cousin is sleeping with one of her Senior Officers.’ That little statement got a general turn of heads in Ross’ direction. Ross wanted to fall through the floor. At the head of the table, Liv was shooting daggers at him.

‘Now that is news.’ Verity said, looking at Ross with frank curiosity on her face. ‘Who is it?’ Jim looked at Ross, his eyes dancing.

‘I couldn’t possibly say.’ he said and Ross wished the damn table wasn’t so big. Then he could have kicked him in the shin.

‘Now, Verity my dear girl, don’t be a horse’s arse.’ Maggie said. ‘It’s Ross.’ This time it was Jon who choked on his wine. Verity frowned, as did the rest of the table.

‘You’re gay?’ she asked him. Ross was horrified. He looked helplessly at Jim, who had one hand in front of his mouth, clearly to suppress his smile.

‘I’m sorry.’ he managed to get out. ‘But I didn’t say a thing.’

‘No, you didn’t. I did.’ Maggie declared.

‘Oh my God.’ Verity laughed. She turned to Jim. ‘So you and Ross are...’ She looked at Ross, who had an epiphany that thing’s really couldn’t get any worse, so he jumped straight in.

‘Yes.’ he said, and heard Olivia’s outraged gasp from her end of the table. ‘We’re seeing each other.’ He looked at Jim, who now had one elbow on the table, chewing on his thumb nail and trying desperately not to laugh out loud. ‘We’ve been together for a year and a half, and yes we love each other, and yes we have sex. A lot.’ These words were subtly directed down the table. Verity looked at her mother Rebecca, who was two seats down from Ross.

‘You owe me fifty quid.’ she said triumphantly.

**********

‘Seriously though, Vee. How the fuck did you know?’ Ross asked as he stretched up and retrieved a bottle from the top of the rack. He’d been dispatched to get more wine in the interests of his parents’ sanity and Verity had gone with to help.

‘Don’t be thick, Ross.’ she said, taking it from him and examining the label. ‘We grew up together. I’ve known you were gay for ages. It’s just nobody would believe me.’ She smiled beatifically at him. ‘Although they’ll be laughing out the other sides of their faces tonight. Christ, did you see your parents’ faces? That was brilliant, and quite possibly the most fun I’ve ever had at one of these things.’

‘Even more than when you got into the sherry and threw up in the Christmas tree?’ Ross asked, reaching for the next bottle.

‘Even more than that.’ Verity said. ‘I have to say that I am rather jealous. You have landed a very good looking and very nice boyfriend.’

‘I know.’ Ross smiled. ‘I have no idea how I got so lucky.’

‘Well if he ever gets tired of you, I would be happy to try and convert him.’ Verity grinned. When Ross glared at her she giggled. ‘Maggie told me about Olivia’s little stunt.’

‘What she didn’t tell you was that Liz thought it would be a good idea to try and seduce my by lying naked on my bed and scaring the crap out of me when I came out the bathroom.’ Ross grumbled. He picked up the two bottles he was carrying and they walked out of the cellar and headed upstairs.

‘I am almost tempted to invite myself to stay over just so I can see what tomorrow morning brings and you have to take him to church with us.’ Verity said.

‘He’s not staying.’ Ross said. ‘He isn’t even supposed to be here now. He’s supposed to be at a Christmas party at his mum’s pub. He came because of me.’

‘Oh, that’s just adorable.’ Verity said. They came up from the rooms below the manor and walked back along to the drawing room. As they passed the floor to ceiling terrace windows, Ross caught sight of Jim out on the terrace, hand in pocket and the other holding his mobile to his ear. He was visibly shivering in the cold air. Verity saw what Ross was looking at.

‘Here, give me those.’ she said taking the bottles from him. ‘Go and cuddle your freezing boyfriend.' Ross gave her a grateful smile. Then he went to the terrace door and opened it. The cold air was enough to make his teeth start chattering, but Jim was faring far better, his shivering the only indication that he felt cold.

‘Yeah, first thing tomorrow.’ he said, looking up as Ross approached. ‘I’ll tell him. Don’t get too drunk or you’ll end up falling off the bar like last year. I love you too, Mom. Bye.’ He hung up and turned to Ross. ‘Rose says hello and give them hell.’

‘Thanks.’ Ross said. He stopped a couple of feet from Jim. ‘I’m sorry my family are all buttoned-up lunatics.’

‘I actually think I like them.’ Jim said coming forward. ‘Your parents could use a little loosening up, though.’ He got near enough to Ross to reach out, hands resting lightly on Ross’ waist. ‘I’m very proud of you for what you did in there.’

‘I should have done it right at the beginning. I should have brought you here, instead of having you come rescue me from myself as usual.’ Ross said.

‘Maybe I like rescuing you.’ Jim said, then moved in close and kissed him. Ross froze and then threw caution to the wind and kissed him back.

It was heading towards twelve when the assembled family members climbed into assorted forms of transport and went home. Verity was last, squeezing the life out of Ross and Jim before she climbed into her taxi.

‘Soon!’ she shouted out the window as the driver pulled away.

‘That woman is crazy.’ Ross said and Jim laughed.

‘I love her.’ He said. ‘Her and Maggie.’ He looked at Ross. ‘I’m not really tired. You want to give me the grand tour?’

‘Of the family pile?’ Ross frowned.

‘No. Out here.’ Jim reached for his hand, taking it and smiling at him. ‘It’s a beautiful night.’

‘It’s bloody freezing.’ Ross protested, but he was unable to resist, just as Jim knew he would be.

They walked along the drive, and down to the ornamental lake, hand in hand.

‘So what happens to this when your parents die?’ Jim asked.

‘It’s mine.’ Ross said. ‘Unless I don’t want it. Then it would go to Verity, probably.’

‘And do you want it?’ Jim asked. Ross sighed.

‘I used to think I did.’ he said. ‘But now every time I come back, I realise how far away from this my life has become.’ He looked at Jim. ‘Would you want this?

‘Fuck, no. I have no interest in playing lady of the manor with you, thank you very much.’ Jim replied.

When they got back, the drawing room was deserted, the fire dying down to embers. The Christmas tree lights were still on, however and Ross went in and turned them off. When he came back out, Jim bundled him up against the wall and kissed him.

‘Merry Christmas, Captain Poldark.’ he said when he let Ross go. Ross looked over his shoulder at the grandfather clock behind them.

‘Bugger.’ he said, then brightened. ‘That means I can give you your present now.’

‘You bought me a present?’ Jim asked. ‘I thought your family didn’t do presents.’

‘Just because they don’t doesn’t mean I can’t.’ Ross said. It had come up the previous Christmas when Jim had bought him something and he’d been caught short because it hadn’t even occurred to him to do that. He took Jim’s hand and pulled him up the stairs after him.

They got upstairs and Jim let his hand go.

‘Hang on.’ he said. ‘I’ll be there in a minute.’ He started down the passage to the guest room he was in and Ross watched, momentarily confused.

‘Where are you going?’ he hissed, not wanting to wake anyone up.

‘I also bought you a present.’ Jim hissed back, smiling at him. ‘Now get your arse in your room and wait for me.’

Ross did as instructed and went into his room. He left the main light off, switching on the lamp next to his bed and then opened the bedside table drawer and took out the box, neatly wrapped in plain blue paper. He bent down and undid his laces, getting rid of shoes and socks as he always did when he was at home (one too many lectures from his mother about shoes on the bed) and waited. He felt strangely exhilarated at the thought of what Jim would do when he opened his present, and also horribly excited at the prospect of his own. Most of his friends had taken Christmas presents for granted, but his parents had never been ones for gifts an he’d rather have nothing than an impersonal Selfridges voucher showing up in an envelope every year.

The door opened quietly and Jim came in, a large grey plastic bundle under one arm.

‘It’s not wrapped.’ he said. ‘I was going to do that before I saw you at New Year.’

‘I don’t care.’ Ross said, moving to make space for him on the three-quarter bed. ‘Shoes.’ he said as Jim approached.

‘Christ.’ Jim laughed but he sat down and kicked them off then took off his socks, balling them and shoving them in one shoe as he always did. Then he sat back on the bed, back against the wall and handed the package to Ross. ‘You first.’

Ross ripped the grey plastic of the parcel, chucking it on the floor and staring at the jacket in his hands. It was a partner of the one Jim wore on his bike, the black leather thick and heavy but with red striping instead of white.

‘Holy shit.’ he said. ‘It’s fucking gorgeous.’

‘I figured red because you’re army.’ Jim was smiling brilliantly at the pleased look on Ross’ face. ‘I thought you’d like that.’

‘I love it.’ Ross said, leaning over and kissing him. ‘Thank you.’ He laid the jacket over his lap to admire it and then handed his present to Jim. ‘Mine’s kind of small in comparison.’

‘What is it about you army blokes and your obsession with size.’ Jim said taking it and smiling.

‘So says the man with big fucking missiles at his disposal.’ Ross said. He looked pointedly at the box in Jim’s hands. ‘Are you going to open that or not?'

‘Patience, Captain.’ Jim said. He started unwrapping, driving Ross mad with anticipation. Jim unwrapped methodically and neatly, just like he did everything else. He folded the paper into a square and then opened the box, his look of surprised delight everything Ross had hoped for.

‘Oh.’ he said, and the single word was so full of wonder that Ross felt like his heart was going to burst. ‘Jesus, this is beautiful.’

‘Open it.’ Ross was almost beside himself. Jim did, and saw the line of text inside, with the date underneath it. He looked up at Ross, his eyes almost indigo in the dim lamplight. ‘It’s the date we met.’

‘I know.’ Jim took a deep breath. ‘This is the most amazing thing anyone’s ever given me.’ He leaned over and the kiss he gave Ross was soft and full of love. ‘And you thought you’d suck at present buying.’

‘I’m kind of hoping it will always bring you back home to me.’ Ross said and Jim huffed a small laugh.

‘I don’t need a compass to find my way back to you Ross.’ he said. ‘All I need to do is follow my heart.’ He put it back in the box and stretched over Ross to put it on the bedside table. Then he took the jacket from Ross’ lap and laid it carefully on the floor next to the bed. Ross watched this, a questioning look on his face but then it changed as Jim climbed into his lap, put his arms around his neck and kissed him passionately.

‘I love you so much.’ he breathed when their mouths parted. ‘There is nowhere in the world I would want to be more than with you.’

‘I love you too.’ Ross replied, his heart thumping. ‘Even though I would never stop you from going.’

‘I know that.’ Jim’s voice was low. He bumped Ross’ nose with his. ‘But you are my home now.’ He kissed him again, and Ross put his arms around him and held on tightly. The kisses went on, changing slowly from gentle to heated until Ross pulled back. Jim, however, had other ideas and he started kissing down the side of Ross' neck, making him shiver.

‘What are you doing?’ he murmured and felt Jim smile against his skin.

‘Did you ever fuck Elizabeth in this bed?’ he asked, then dragged his tongue over Ross’ pulse. Ross gasped.

‘No.’ he managed to say. ‘Never.’

‘In this house?’ Jim asked, and bit lightly at his collar bone, where it was just exposed by his shirt.

‘No.’ Ross said, but it turned into a low moan when Jim ground down against him and he started to get hard.

‘So I’ll be the first.’ Jim licked along the line of his throat and Ross bit his lip to hold in the noise he was desperate to make. ‘Would you like that? For me to fuck you in this bed, to make you moan so loudly the whole house knows what I do to you in the dark?’ He came back to Ross’ mouth, tongue tracing Ross’ lower lip before dipping into his mouth. ‘Or would we have to keep quiet so your parents don’t hear? Leave them wondering exactly what we’ve done in this bed?’ He was rocking in Ross’ lap and Ross could feel that he was also hard. His hands moved from Jim’s back to his wrists, pulling them away from him regretfully.

‘We can’t.’ he breathed. ‘We mustn’t.’ Jim pulled back and looked at him, pupils dilated, and Ross tightened his grip on Jim’s wrists as he fought to get himself under control.

‘I don’t believe you.’ he whispered. ‘I can feel how hard you are, how much you want me.’ He leaned in, his breath ghosting over Ross’ mouth. ‘I want you too.’ He twisted his wrists free from Ross' hands and moved down to his tucked in shirt, pulling at it until the hem was free and he could slip his hands underneath, stroking along the ribs and then going to Ross’ belt buckle. And all the time he kept on giving Ross those teasing light kisses, little flicks of tongue that drove Ross crazy. Eventually Ross caved, his need for Jim just too strong to control. He lifted his arms and Jim pulled the shirt and jumper over his head, chucking it, and then his hands were running over Ross’ chest, finger tracing nipples as they moved down to the unbuttoned chinos and Ross shifted up so Jim could push them down just as far as needed, his hand taking Ross’ cock and stroking just hard enough.

How do you want it?’ he breathed into Ross’ mouth. ‘Me in you, or you in me?’

‘Ride me.’ Ross moaned, ‘God, I want to be in you.’ He whined as Jim’s thumb ran over the head of his cock and Jim lifted it to his mouth, sucking the pre-come off of it. Ross watched him, panting.

‘This first, I think.’ Jim said, moving back along Ross’ thighs then bending forward and Ross bowed up from the pile of pillows at his back as he felt the first touch of Jim’s tongue.

‘Oh God.’ he moaned and Jim took him all the way in until Ross was enveloped in his warm wet mouth. He moved slowly, letting his arms take his weight either side of Ross’ hips and Ross reached for his head, guiding him. ‘Fuck, that’s so good.’ Jim hummed around him, and Ross let his head fall back, eyes closed as he focused on nothing but the slide in and out of Jim’s mouth, the feel of his tongue tracing every line and vein until his body was shaking. Then Jim pulled off and Ross had to stop himself whining in disappointment.

‘Easy, baby.’ he said, moving back up and kissing Ross’ open mouth. ‘We have all night. Unless you make too much noise that is, and your parents come crashing through that door to make sure I’m not defiling you.’

‘Too fucking late.’ Ross said, fighting to control his breathing. ‘Now shut the fuck up and get on my cock.’

‘You are very lippy tonight.’ Jim was grinning at him. ‘Be careful what you ask for. I’m in the mood to make you scream.’ He got off Ross and reached for the buttons of his plaid shirt, undoing them slowly until it hung open. Ross watched, eyes fixed on him and every move he made, catching his breath as Jim stripped it off and then reached back to pull off his t-shirt. His skin almost glowed in the low light. He stood waiting then dropped the t-shirt to the floor.

‘Maybe I should stop here.’ he said. ‘Make you jerk off instead.’ He unbuckled his belt, hands moving teasingly slow, then undid his jeans. ‘What do you think?’

‘I think if you don’t get over here and fuck me in the next ten seconds, I’m taking my Christmas present back.’ Ross said, and Jim chuckled low in his chest.

‘You got anything?’ he asked.

‘In my bag.’ Ross replied. He watched as Jim scratched around then came up with the lube and chucked it on the bed.

‘Do I even want to know why you have that?’ he asked, laughing.

‘What I do in the privacy of the bathroom when you’re not around is my business.’ Ross grumbled, wriggling out of his briefs and chinos and hurling them at Jim, who deflected them easily.

‘You could at least video it.’ he said, shedding his jeans and boxers as well, and then coming back to the bed and straddling Ross. ‘Send it to me so I can watch it when I’m away.’ He reached for the lube, flipping the top and grabbing Ross’ hand, pouring it over his fingers and then guiding his hand to where he wanted it. Ross obliged, stroking and working the lube over him before he slid one finger inside. Jim rose on his knees, hands on Ross’ shoulders and took in a deep breath, then dropped back down onto Ross’ hand. Ross pushed up into him, fingertip skating over Jim’s prostate, knowing just where to press, where to stroke lightly until Jim was keening.

‘More.’ he gritted out and Ross added a second and went a little harder, a little faster. Jim moaned, and Ross winced at the noise. He grabbed at the back of Jim’s head with his free hand and pulled him to him, kissing him quiet. Jim was not so easily put off and whined noisily into Ross’ mouth as he worked him open.

‘Can’t you keep quiet?’ Ross hissed when they separated and Jim made a soft snuffling noise as he stifled his laugh.

‘Not with your fingers inside me.’ he replied. ‘Christ you are so good at that.’ He pushed back hard. ‘More.’

‘Now who’s being lippy?’ Ross said, but he pulled them out and then pushed three back in.

‘Oh fucking hell…’ Jim linked his fingers at the back of Ross’ neck and rocked back and forth on Ross’ hand. ‘So fucking good.’

‘So fucking loud.’ Ross hissed. Jim locked eyes with him, and raised an eyebrow.

‘You want loud?’ he asked, and Ross still had enough brain cells functioning to panic ever so slightly.

‘No.’ he said. ‘I never said that.’ He had a horrible feeling he knew where this was going. Jim gave him a smile that was pure evil.

‘Right, Poldark.’ He said. ‘You fucking asked for it.’ He lifted high enough for Ross’ fingers to slip out of him and then his hand was on Ross’ cock, holding him still. It was all so fast that Ross didn’t have time to even protest before he felt himself being taken in, not slowly but in one sure hard movement that drove him all the way inside Jim.

‘Oh fuck!’ he said, breath knocked out of him by how good it felt. Then Jim lifted and just slammed down on him, and Ross felt his residual composure and concern for not making too much noise fly out the window. ‘Jesus Christ, Jim…’

‘Remember the first night I rode you like this?’ Jim’s words were a series of harsh pants. ‘How hard I made you come? Well that is going to be nothing compared to this.’ He moved easily, executing a graceful rise and fall with his hands braced against Ross’ shoulders for leverage. Ross could do nothing but take it, his hands on Jim’s flanks to steady them, feeling the muscles working under his hands as Jim moved. It was fast and intense and the drive into Jim’s body blocked out everything else but the two of them, locked together.

‘Come on, baby.’ Jim breathed. ‘I want to feel you.’ He leaned back and Ross knew he’d hit the right place because he cried out and clenched so tightly around Ross that he did the same. He dug his fingers into Jim’s body, holding on tightly as Jim started to buck frantically, driving Ross deeper and deeper inside him with every movement until the stars started going off behind Ross’ eyes and he lost it, throwing his head back and shouting Jim’s name as he came. Jim crashed forward into him, hand on his own cock as he brought himself to the edge and then merrily tumbled over, his own cries as loud as Ross’ had been. Ross caught him and held him still, cum smearing both their chests.

They finally quieted, breathing starting to even out. Then Jim chuckled and Ross bit him on the shoulder in retaliation.

‘You absolute fucker.’ he muttered into Jim’s sweat damp skin. ‘There’s no way in hell they didn’t hear that.’

‘At least this way, they’ll know that we aren’t just sitting in here plaiting each other’s hair and listening to Abba.’ Jim laughed.

He didn’t bother going back to the guest room, and they spent the rest of the night crowded into Ross three quarter childhood bed, elbows and knees getting in the way of any hope of a reasonably decent night’s sleep.

When they got up on Christmas morning they stumbled into the shower together, washing dried lube and cum off each other’s bodies and giggling at how close they had to stand in Ross’ less than spacious shower.

‘This is fucking ridiculous.’ Ross said. Jim had both arms around him, trying to wash his back.

‘That’s because you shower is like a fucking sardine tin.’ he said, kissing Ross’ shoulder. He tilted his head back and smiled at Ross, blue-green eyes sparkling. ‘Have I told you that is my favourite Christmas so far because I got to wake up with you?’

‘You are going to make me never want to let you leave.’ Ross said. ‘Christ knows I don’t want you to go.’

‘You could come with me.’ Jim said. He scratched at some residual cum stuck in Ross’ chest hair.

‘I can’t.’ Ross said. ‘I’d love to and I love you, but I think I need to stay here. Maybe talk things out with them.’

‘Yeah, you probably should. Especially after last night.’ Jim said. He snickered. ‘Jesus, if your parents hated me before, they’re going to absolutely loathe me now.’

‘They don’t even know you.’ Ross said. ‘That’s what pisses me off so much. If they gave you a chance they’d probably love you as much as I do.’ He ran his fingers through Jim’s wet hair. ‘No, scratch that. Nobody in the known universe could love you as much as I do.’

‘You are such a wanker, but I love you too.’ Jim laughed, standing on his tiptoes and kissing him.

After they got out and dried off, Jim went back to his room to dress and get his things. Ross had told him he’d meet him downstairs once he was dressed to say goodbye. But now all he could do was sit on the bed and stare at the black leather jacket with the red stripes hanging on the back of the chair at his desk.

Then he made a decision.

*********

Jim came down the staircase, bag on shoulder and found Maggie in the front hall, pulling off a pair of gloves by the open front door.

‘Olivia and Jonathan are just at the car.’ she said. ‘They’re not very happy with you two for sleeping through Morning service.’ Then she gave him a wink that would have been shocking on a much younger woman. ‘And that’s not all they’re unhappy about either. That was quite the little performance you and Ross put on last night.’

‘I thought you said you were deaf?’ Jim said, smiling at her.

‘My dear child, I think you two broke several noise barriers.’ Maggie said. ‘I shall endeavour to soundproof my guest bedroom for when you come to visit, and I do so hope you will.’

‘Thank you.’ Jim said. ‘I certainly will.’ The crunch of gravel under shoes heralded the arrival of Ross’ parents. They came in from outside and Jim was very amused to see that they couldn’t meet his eyes.

‘Good morning, Hawkins.’ Jon said. ‘Merry Christmas.’

‘And you, sir.’ Jim said, his naval politeness just the right side of arrogance. ‘And thank you both very much for your hospitality.’

‘Don’t mention it.’ Jon said and Jim knew that he probably meant that literally. Olivia had her lips pressed tightly together, her eyes averted. She kept silent.

‘Well.’ he said. ‘I really should get going. My mum’s expecting me.’

‘Of course. Don’t let us keep you.’ Jon said. ‘I take it you’ve already said goodbye to Ross.’

‘I’m actually just waiting for him and then I’ll be off.’ Jim said. ‘He was just getting out the shower the last time I saw him.’ He knew he shouldn’t but he couldn’t resist. He went to Maggie, kissing her on the cheek and she gave him a half hug. ‘Thank-you.’ he whispered so only she could hear. ‘I appreciate what you did.’ Maggie’s grip tightened a little.

‘He’s in good hands with you.’ she whispered back. ‘I can feel it.’ Then she pulled back from him and her eyes widened a little as she looked over Jim’s shoulder. ‘And it looks like he knows that too.’

Jim turned to see Ross coming down the stairs. He was in jeans and boots with a bag in one hand, the jacket Jim had given him zipped up and making his shoulders look impossibly broad. He got to the bottom of the stairs and looked at him.

‘Is that offer still open?’ he asked and Jim’s heart took flight at the easy smile on his face.

‘Always.’ he replied. Ross came across the hall.

‘I’ll be back for the Landy in a couple of days.’ he said to his parents. He gave Maggie a hug and then turned to Jim. ‘Shall we go?’

‘After you, Captain Poldark.’ Jim said, smile bringing out his dimples. He gestured for Ross to go first and he did without so much as a backwards glance at his parents. They got to the bike and Ross went into the back seat of the Land Rover and took out his helmet that Jim had got for him. He watched as Jim strapped their bags to the back then got on, putting on his helmet once he was seated, then digging his gloves out of his jacket pocket and pulling them on. Ross followed suit, then came up and climbed on behind him, putting his arms around Jim and feeling the solid weight against him.

They left, the dust kicking up behind them, and to Ross it felt like he was being freed.

**Author's Note:**

> For those who are wondering, the line of text in Jim's compass reads as follows - You are the ocean in which I would drown.


End file.
